I don’t deserve a blog…

Ughhh!!! When I first started blogging I was obsessed with people’s pregnancy journeys and I found so often that women would have their babies and they would never post it or write their birth story (my biggest obsession) and then I would be left to wonder.
Well pot, it’s kettle, you’re black!

To give myself just a teeeeeny tiny bit of credit, when we moved into our new home we didn’t have an internet provider yet because our area was so new. That was fun. Like the kind of fun you have right after a root canal. It was awful and I learned how addicted to wifi we are. My kids need Netflix and I need to scroll Facebook. It’s how we survive, judge as you wish!

So let’s get to it! WE HAD A BABY!!!!!!!!! Gracelyn Kate arrived June 27 at 8:11 am and weighed 7 lbs 9 oz and was 19 inches long. She had a full head of dark hair and is perfect. She has been the perfect addition to our family and we could not love her more.

Let’s hear the story- So I was being induced on the 27th and I went on the 25th for a final cervical check and to make a plan for induction. I assumed my doctor would say either go in the night before or go in at 6 or 7 in the morning. When I was induced with the twins, I was already in the hospital so my induction was a bit different. Anyways- we go on Tuesday and she says I am thinning and a solid 3 centimeters. I was so happy to be 3. I joked with my wife that I did 30% of the work before we got there and it was pretty painless. Not to mention I had been having contractions often and I was super ready to see some progress.

Lemme tell you what no one talks about – the emotional mess you are the night before you leave your babies to have a baby. UGHHH I couldn’t even get through bedtime. I was a mess. But back to the “plan for induction.” I said to my doctor “so when should we come on the 27th?” She said “Whenever you want….I mean you can come at 12:01 if you want…” huh? I was so confused. Didn’t I need an appointment? Totally crazy concept. Well as fun as going in to begin labor at midnight sounded- I was gonna pass on that. We decided to go to bed with the twins and head in around 4 or 5 in the morning and my doctor said she would come at 8 am to break my water. SOLD!

So that’s what we did! We went to bed and I actually slept a lot better than I expected. My cousin came over to be with the twins until daycare that morning and I didn’t even hear her. My alarm went off at 3:30 and I was ready to go. We got dressed, we left the house at 4:17 and we were admitted and in THE LAST AVAILABLE LABOR ROOM at 5:00 am. Pitocin started at 5:15 and it was go time. We had essential oils, massage tools, music, and everything else ready for our natural birth experience. From 5-7 contractions were manageable and we were cruising. It was beginning to intensify and my doctor came to break my water at 7:50. Gracelyn’s head was still pretty high so my doctor wanted to be sure head came down nicely. She asked me to stay in bed for an hour to let her come down before I used the ball or did too much walking. I agreed! We had all day, right? What’s an hour. Well my doctor broke my water and said all was going fine. My nurse (amazing) came back about 5 minutes later at 7:55 and said she just wanted to check to be sure all was still good. I heard the words that put my entire heart into my stomach “I feel a cord”

As someone who had a cord prolapse with a baby already, this was awful. I knew what it meant. It meant an immediate and emergent C Section. DAMMMNNN ITTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They called a code for all nurses to come and called my doctor back in. She checked me and out loud she said “mother fucker” which I think is super funny. Also- here’s a fun piece of info -when a cord is coming before the baby, a nurse, or someone, has to hold it and keep pushing it back up to stop it from coming out. Imagine the scene- they are prepping me for a c section in my labor room and then wheeling me to the OR with a nurse on top of my bed rolling with me while her hand is still holding in the cord. Painful? Just a bit!!

Of all the memories I have of that day, one that is ingrained in my head is Karen’s face looking into my eyes telling me it was all going to be okay while actually looking purely terrified. It was a hard sight to see as I knew I would be okay but she would be alone to wait that everyone was okay. As I wheeled into the OR I remember a nurse saying “Honey, they are going to have to put you to sleep.” I was in so much pain I said ” I can’t wait!!!” everyone kinda giggled and joked about it later but in the moment I was so serious. When Noelle’s cord prolapsed, I wasn’t numb for the cutting of my incision so I have felt a c section without the meds. I don’t recommend it. They put a mask over my face when I first got into the OR and they said “take some deep breaths.” I thought that was going to be put me to sleep. I kept taking breaths and not falling asleep and I went in to fulllll panic. I was so sure I was going to feel it all again. I was sobbing. Then the anesthesiologist said “I am going to put this in your IV to put you to sleep” and all I could say is “what is this mask for??” He said “It was to help calm you down but it’s not working.” So I guess it was just a gas but nothing good enough to put me out. He put me out and I woke up to a recovery nurse saying “you have a baby!!”

A beautiful baby. A baby who was handmade for us. She came to recovery and we did skin to skin and it was amazing. Karen had seen her and gotten updates from the nurse. She came out a little pale so they watched her in the nursery while I was waking up and then brought her to me probably 20 minutes after I woke up. I can’t say enough about the medical team that day. Everyone was incredible and made what was a very scary time into the best possible day. We got to have her with us the entire stay and went home 48 hours after she arrived. The twins love her, she sleeps pretty well, and I am healing slowly but surely. Did I get my natural labor? No, I didn’t but I got the labor that gave me the precious gift of Gracelyn Kate and I wouldn’t change a single thing about it.

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Still. Pregnant~

I am still pregnant and ya’ll let me tell you- I had to get real with God yesterday and tell him he has two options. He either has to give me this baby or give me some patience because I am struggling without either right now. As a mom to preemie twins, I was NOT prepared for what it meant to have to wait for your baby to arrive. My first pregnancy was based around trying to STAY pregnant. This time- get her out!!

I am currently 38+4 days. I lost my mucus plug on Saturday, I have contractions (not painful) dang near all day long, and I absolutely swear you could just grab her out if you reached down there. I went to the doctor yesterday and they are inducing me next Thursday if she doesn’t come on her own. I pray she comes on her own as we are preparing for and really wanting to do a natural delivery and no meds with pitocin doesn’t sound nearly as doable but I will give it my all trying.

I am still working. We have summer school for four weeks after school gets out so I spend from 8:30-11:30 each morning with 7 3rd grade boys. Whoa, exhausting! Then I come home and drink pineapple juice, walk around the neighborhood, and climb our stairs to try and get this rolling. All. is. failing. I am 2 cm, thin cervix, and her head is low. A week ago she was weighing 6.15 – Annyyytime baby girl.

Speaking of walking the neighborhood, we moved successfully. I was worried we wouldn’t be in before the baby came -HA! Try in and so very ready for this baby. Her room is done, her car seat is in the van, and we are unsure of what exactly she is waiting for us to do. We love our new home. Unfortunately the sectional we ordered has been back ordered and won’t arrive until tomorrow. We ordered it 7 weeks ago!! I have tried to be patient but we have no where to sit and relax downstairs and that has made the home feel unfinished. Sooooo excited to relax tomorrow. My wife is a rockstar and did so much of the heavy move with some friends while I did the decorating and the easy stuff. She is perfect.

Last update is I have finished my masters work until after baby girl comes. The last class I was in was supposed to run through my due date but the professor was awesome about letting me finish early by working ahead. I start my internship July 9th for 10 weeks, then I have 2 classes that run together for 5 weeks and boom, I am done! I have to say it has gone so quickly. I am excited to be done and even more excited to stop paying for it. I have been so blessed that we were able to pay for this out of pocket. Again, my wife is a rockstar for letting our family take on this financial stressor and barely make it feel stressful.

The twins could not be more fun than they are right now. I mean seriously. They love everything, they are learning so much, and they are just full of so much joy. I am forever grateful to be their mama and the only thing holding me out from wanting Gracelyn Kate to arrive yesterday is holding on to the fact that these are our last days with being a family of 4 and I am okay with enjoying these special final days.

I think that pretty much has us updated. Hopefully the next update is our birth story!!

xoxo

A

Sorcery

Welp, I did sorcery. I don’t remember if I posted in my last update that baby girl is breech. As in- I have read and researched and practiced for a natural, unmedicated birth just to find that my baby is not only breech but like feet down breech. Awesome. So immediately I started googling and I was looking for ways to flip her. I will try anything and I have. From ice packs up high and heat down low, to stretches and different yoga positions to a new chiropractor.

Insert- SORCERY!!! I have been to a chiropractor before. My babies have been adjusted since they were 2 months old and I stand by the fact that my post partum pain was SIGNIFICANTLY made better when I started getting adjusted. I am a believer. So I had no issues with going. In fact I had wanted to find one here since I go to a doctor in our hometown which is 5 hours away making appointments a lot less frequent than I would prefer.

This kind of caused it. So I researched something called the Webster Technique and found a doctor who specializes in it. I made an appointment and showed up Monday at 10:45. He was super nice and explained everything he was going to do. He did a full adjustment and then did the Webster’s Technique which is basically a manual massage of the round ligaments. OOOUUUCCHHHHH! But a good hurt, ya know? He told me I had the tightest round ligament he had felt in years and it was certainly why she couldn’t flip down. He showed me some things I can do at home to help too.

Then he said “I would like to do some acupuncture” ummmmm listen. I will try ANYTHING particularly in terms of trying to flip this kid but I like a little prep time. I had none. He told me he was going to stick my pinky toe and a few spots on my foot and leg. I broke into a cold sweat. I am not scared of needles by any means. But I am scared of things I don’t know. I don’t know what needles feel like in my toe and foot. Except now I do and it’s literal sorcery. As soon as he stuck my pinky toe, Gracelyn went INSANE!!!! Jumping and went crazy. I wish sooo badly I would have had my camera.

Over the last few days I have had more movement than ever and feel her trying to go south. Today I went back for another treatment. It was awesome and today she was transverse based on the doctor’s palpitations. She is getting there!! Yay!! I go back Friday and then I have an ultrasound the week after next. I can’t wait to see if she is head down or at least closer!!

Think “Head Down” 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

32 Weeks…

So that’s a lie… I am 32 weeks tomorrow but the last time I was ahead of time on this blog was…well…never. Life is literally insane. Which is the only way I know and love my life to be but this is a level that should probably border along the lines of illegal.

When you are a teacher, you have all year to prepare for May. So much happens in May and it’s stressful. And even though this is my 8th May of my career- it never stops amazing me how crazy it is. I learned last week that I am switching my entire job description next school year. While I am excited, I am equally terrified. Depending on when this baby comes, I won’t be back at the beginning of the school year. Awesome. So while the entire school starts and does their thing, I will be at home with my newborn anticipating what it looks like to go back to a new grade level and coaching job. I am a half time teacher, half time instructional coach. That means I share a classroom with another teacher. When she is teaching, I am working with teachers to help them reach their goals. She does the same thing when I am teaching. I have taught 4th grade my entire career and next year I will teach second. I have always wanted little ones so I am not sad about that. It is just the unfamiliarity of it all. As for coaching- I am going to be coaching on non academic topics. I will coach on social and emotional learning which is absolutely my passion. All good changes- just more changes to add to the madness of life right now.

I passed my 3 hour glucose test and have been cruising through pregnancy without many issues at all. I am so so so very blessed to be a lucky prego. I don’t take it for granted and I am so thankful!! I have an ultrasound and appointment on Tuesday. We gotta get this girl head down. I have continued to research and pray about a natural delivery with no pain meds. As of today, if she goes head down, that’s the plan!! An unmedicated VBAC. Bring. It. On.

Quick timeline of life as I know it right now…

May 24th – final walk through of our home

May 30th- closing and possession of our home

June 3-28 Teach Summer School

June 28th- Due Date

July 8th- Begin internship for my masters

August 7th- School starts with an entire new role

November 1- Finish my Master’s Degree in Educational Leadership

I mean – it’s gonna be fine!!! :S :S :S Right?? One. Day. At. A. Time 🙂

xoxo

A

29 + 4

I am 3 days away from being THIRTY WEEKS PREGNANT!!!! When people say your second pregnancy goes faster than your first- they for real ain’t kiddin!!! She is an active little thing who hates when I lean on anything.

Medically things have gone really well. My doctor thought I was measuring big on the outside so we did an ultrasound and she is 72 percentile and about 3.5 pounds. She isn’t concerned about it and said that probably from the twins things are stretching more than they need to. She is also currently transverse and she wasn’t worried about that either. She said she has until the last second to get head down. Yay!

So our current birthing plan is for an unmedicated vbac. I have been doing so much research and practicing some breathing and positions for the hospital although I plan to labor at home way more than at the hospital. Clearly this will all depend on this baby and we will see how it goes.

I did fail my one hour glucose test. I passed with the twins so I was kinda freaking out. I passed my three hour though so back to the occasssional (okay possibly frequent) ice cream and pizza. I am feeling so great!

In home news- we got the final email that we have move in and closing dates!!! Our final walk through will be May 24 and we will get our keys and close on May 30th. Ya’ll this was the best news ever!!! That gives us four whole weeks before baby is due! Yippee!! Bring it on!!! Our main goal is for a nice happy and unpacked home before we bring home our gorgeous baby!!

xoxo
A

7 days.

That’s it. Seven days stand between us and our first move of this two move process. We will be moving to our apartment next Saturday for 6-8 weeks until our home is done being built. With this comes something even scarier. My cousin is taking my twins 5 hours away without me next weekend so we can move without having to work around their schedules. While I know they will be absolutely fine and have a blast with my family, I can’t help but feel heartbroken that my babies will be away from home without their mama for the first time. That being said, it will be soooo helpful to move with them occupied. As if being 26 weeks pregnant next week isn’t fun enough 🙂 We have slowly moved things to storage and every night we go to bed looking more and more like this place is ending for us.

Ya’ll listen- I AM NOT a “things” person. I wouldn’t think twice if this place burnt to the ground and we lost everything in it (outside of the people and pets obviously and frankly….one cat drives me nuts…kidding..ish) So what I am trying to say is that I am not nervous about leaving this place from the stance of what we are getting rid of. But there is a sense of sadness that comes over me when I remember what this home meant. First of all it meant that Karen and I made it and were going to share our lives together and that was something I have dreamt about for a while at that point. We lived long distance for 4+ years and while we did live in an apartment together, being homeowners was fabulous. It was a major goal of mine. We got married here, we built a tribe of people who became our family away from our family, and we got married.

We took COUNTLESS negative pregnancy tests. We got the call in this very house that our first positive pregnancy had turned negative. We also took countless positive tests that completely changed our life. Pregnancy was built in this home for 35 weeks and a we brought our babies home to a nursery we put together with our own paint and put them in cribs that we prayed over for longer than we knew we were pregnant. My angels are 2.5 years old so yes guys, I am emotional about this move. I know we will love our new home and create all new memories in our new space. That doesn’t change that this one is leaving a super special place in my heart.

To 12011, you have been everything I could have asked for in a first home and so. so. so. so. much more!!! Here’s to the last week of “lasts” in our first house we made a home. And to one week left until spring break and 25 weeks pregnant- life is so good and we are so blessed.

Here is a pic of our 24 week bump! Keep growing Gracelyn Kate, we sure do love you already!

xoxo

A

Time

All I think about all the time is….time. How fast time is going really. I am 22+4 days pregnant. My belly is big and baby girl is moving and grooving and I could not be more obsessed with pregnancy. I feel so lucky and blessed to have easy ones!!

Our house is being built and we go by and check on progress way more than I expected to! Foundation is poured and it’s going to be ready before we know it. This is me trying to be optimistic. I so badly want to be in our house before this baby comes.

We close on our house Thursday at 8:45 for the one we are selling. We can stay for 30 days and then we will be in an apartment until our home is done. Part of me is so excited because we are purging so much stuff we have accumulated in our home over 6 years. It’s bittersweet to see our home go. I hope we love our new home as much as we loved this one.

The school year is flying and we are only 4 weeks away from spring break and 11 weeks away from the end of the school year. This is pure madness to me!!! I truly can’t even!!

Illness is taking over the world. Our family has been pretty lucky overall but as a teacher- it is just madness. I had a stomach bug last week that ended me up in the ER to get fluids through IV’s as I couldn’t even keep down water. I am better now and each twin had about 12 hours of the same bug at some point last week beginning with Landen throwing up on Karen in mass last Sunday. This week he said “mom, I won’t choke on you today.” Bless him.

I have my second part of my anatomy scan today to finish a few pics of the heart we haven’t gotten yet. This will most likely be our last ultrasound until we check position around 36 weeks which seems so crazy to a twin mama who had ultrasounds constantly. I am excited to see her today and also know the glucose test is probably my next appointment which I always fear even though I had no issues with the twins. This baby girl loves her some sweets.

We finally picked a name. Gracelyn Kate 🙂 I am so excited and can’t wait to meet this baby!!

Hoping today goes well and we keep cruising through our pregnancy nice and smoothly.

xoxo

A